There is just no. way.

This is my own fault. I have no one to blame but myself. I could have been content to have Leah on ADHD medicine and just left well enough alone. But Noooooooooooooooo. I had to be all “she isn’t totally herself on the medicine. What if it’s something nutritional or chemical and we could actually FIX it?”

Because I always have to try to fix everything.

So we went to the naturopath. And we agree to do a food sensitivities test. And while we waited for the results, we agreed to “try” giving up gluten and dairy for a few weeks.

Those few weeks almost killed me.

There were nights she sat at the table and cried “I’d rather be dead than eat this” – and seriously? I found substitutes for almost everything she likes, so it really wasn’t all that bad. A HUGE pain in the rear for me, but for her? Not a massive inconvenience.

Can’t drink dairy? Fine, we substitute rice milk, coconut milk, or almond milk. Love cheese? We found the non-dairy “cheese”. Can’t eat gluten? There’s rice everything! No problem!! {Except it all costs more. A LOT more.}

I actually went into her appointment today thinking “maybe she won’t have to abstain from dairy and/or gluten anymore!”

I hate my optimistic self sometimes. A lot.

The test shows what she has “Severe”, “Moderate” and “Mild” intolerances to. Good news? Her gluten sensitivity is “mild”. And yet? They want her to continue to give it up for another month, along with everything on the Severe and Moderate lists.

Guess what’s on the list?


Freaking rice. That would be the thing we were substituting for gluten!! WHAT?! “Just use quinoa” says the naturopath. Um yeah, except that’s on her “mild” list and even though they said “don’t worry about that”, the paperwork says to limit how much of that she has, like not every day. Know what else is on the Mild list? COCONUT. And peanuts. And ALMONDS. Um, what the heck is this child going to DRINK?!

Also on the totally avoid list – Beef and turkey. Also strawberries, broccoli, pistachios, tuna (girl loves tuna. sigh.)

Great news – she can have chicken. Except, she generally doesn’t LIKE chicken. I was going to make chicken wings tonight. But now? I have no freaking idea HOW. Every recipe has at least one thing (and usually more) that are not allowed.

I can’t do this. I seriously can’t. I am not a good cook. I follow recipes. I am not creative and I don’t even freaking LIKE being in the kitchen. I want to cry and stamp my feet and then cry some more.

I really really don’t want to do this. But why did we test if we weren’t going to try? I seriously had no idea it would be like this. I want a do over. Or a time machine.


6 thoughts on “There is just no. way.

  1. You need to talk to Elaine. She eats like this all the time. Go message her on fb and pick her brain. I’m no expert on this topic AT ALL, but- considering we’re talking about a kid- my opinion would be to start with the most severe foods first and cut them out one or two at a time. Let her adjust for a week or two, then cut one or two more. It’s too overwhelming (for both of you) to try to do it all overnight and you won’t be able to sustain it. You’re much more likely to be successful if you adjust to small changes. Just one fat girl’s opinion. Also? Breathe. Take a nice, deep, cleansing breath right now… Maybe, two or three. It’s all going to work out. God loves her. He’ll take care of her. This, too, shall be okay (I’m paraphrasing).

  2. I have a friend whose son is allergic to tons of things. When he first tested he was allergic to rice too but as they cleaned up his diet it was one of the first things he was able to add back Into his diet. She has another child who also has some major gut issues and he had to cut out some of the few foods that her highly allergenic child could consume until he could prove that the restriction didn’t help. She has always hated to cook and 7 years of impossible allergies hasn’t helped. But I am sure she could give you some cookbook and resource guidance. She makes a killer cupcake (wheat, egg, dairy, nut, corn, soy free. I think possibly rice free too). She could at least give you some ideas for staple meals to keep on hand. I think you need to start by making a list of what she can (and will) eat and going from there.

    I really sympathize. Fwiw even with allergies to everything they are currently traveling through Europe. So she won’t be available until end of May. But if she can do it, you can do it!

    1. To add to that, the mild list is probably things she’s not really reactive to but are just flagging because she’s so exposed to things she is highly reactive to. Surely she will be able to add those things in after a short break. Probably many of the things on the moderate list too.

  3. Thanks you guys. I really appreciate the support and encouragement. One thing that is helping a little.. Quinn clued me in to where you can put in what ingredients you have and it gives you recipes. It’s not perfect – a few recipes have “bad” foods in them, but most are ok. Also? Most of them involve bacon. Seems you can wrap it around just about anything. Which is good for Leah because she loves bacon and needs the fat. I however, anticipate getting very very sick of cooking with bacon. LOL.

    1. K~
      Tell me more!!! What oils? Why do they help?
      We tried no meds yesterday and oh my word WHAT A DISASTER. Worst day she’s had in a long long time. This diet better show some serious miraculous results or no way are we sticking with any of it past this month.

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